


life and death and everything in between

by PinkJasMink



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Blood, Bloodplay, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Knifeplay, M/M, Power Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), all consensual tho, just very filthy stuff, so probably some light gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 20:46:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6024238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkJasMink/pseuds/PinkJasMink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Mind the tags ya'll]</p>
<p>He will forever be the man Levi loved to death.<br/>He will forever be, that one choice he never regretted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	life and death and everything in between

**Author's Note:**

> Just to be sure, this story includes:
> 
> consensual blood and knife play (so probably some light gore)
> 
> mentions of self-harm
> 
> basically it’s very messy and filthy
> 
> If I forgot to mention anything in specific please let me know so I can add it to the tags!!
> 
> Please consume with care, thank you.

There's one thing Levi hates more than anything else; those hushed voices behind his back.

It's something new in fact, did Levi never care before. But these days, there's always that distinctive whisper Levi can make out, the hushed mumble of a name Levi can never overhear.

_Erwin._

And Levi _hates_ it.

Of course people have always been talking about Erwin and a lot of them rarely had anything good to say. It's something Levi has long gotten used to. But now, now it's different. Things have changed. Erwin has changed.

_No,_ that's not it. Erwin hasn't changed. But his tactic has.

That, is not something new either and Levi needed a long time to even figure out why it started bothering him so much. But now he knows.

For years, he did what Erwin thought best. He didn't question his decisions concerning the Corps, neither did he care to. There was no need. And Erwin knew that.

He knew that still when he didn't give Levi an order, but a choice. It almost felt as if time had brought them back to that rainy day so many years ago. That rainy day on which Levi gave his trust to Erwin.

"I gave you the responsibility," Erwin said, his voice serious, lacking any warmth. "And now I'm asking you."

He was serious, asking Levi's opinion rather than his permission. He didn't know this time, if it would be a good idea. If it would help anyone at all. If it would work. But Levi trusted him anyway. He wouldn't have asked if the thought had only crossed his mind once or twice. He had thought about it for a long time before asking Levi. And that was enough to make Levi say yes. But now all those murmurs behind Levi's back;

they're his fault. This time, it's his fault.

And Levi doesn't know yet, if he really made a choice he won't regret.

____________________

  
  


"Erwin."

With a thud, the door falls shut behind Levi, the lock clicking a moment later when Levi twists his wrist. No voice calls back for him, so after a moment of listening, Levi lets himself inside. Usually, he would take his shoes off by the door, but it seems like a nuisance now when he came here straight after training. Besides, the floor is dirty anyway.

"Erwin," Levi calls another time, following the flickering stream of light he can make out somewhere in the house. It told him someone had to be home. It feels almost odd. Levi hasn't visited Erwin at home for a long time. These days they only have time to meet in the barracks.

Eventually, Levi finds what he's been looking for. Erwin, in his cosy living room dozed off in his armchair. He's still fully dressed and from what that tells Levi, he assumes the man came home, sat down and fell asleep at the same time. It's almost sad, but Levi has no time for sadness now. He approaches Erwin slowly instead, placing a hand on his right shoulder, letting it slide down all the way to Erwin's wrist where the man's fingers twitch. It's odd. Levi never though he'd see that hand again.

"Erwin."

With a jerk, Erwin is awake, almost headbutting Levi with how fast his head snaps up, alert. But he relaxes again upon recognising Levi, a miserable smile appearing on his face.

"Don't smile," Levi says before Erwin can even open his mouth. "It looks hideous."

A moment passes, Erwin's eyes wide, but then he chuckles weakly.

"I'm sorry Levi," he says and for a moment, Levi wonders where that warmth in Erwin's voice comes from.

"I must've fallen asleep," Erwin continues before Levi can deepen the thought. It makes him snort instead and he slowly straightens his back.

"Your house is filthy."

It's the only thing that comes to Levi's mind, does he see no reason to elaborate on Erwin falling asleep since that much is obvious. Erwin is not thrown off for a second though, another chuckle escaping him.

"I don't have much time to straighten it up these days," he says instead, apologising. Levi thinks it's stupid and he shakes his head.

"I will do it."

"Now?"

The smile is back on Erwin's face and though it still looks hideous with how tired he seems, Levi says nothing about it this time.

"Not now," he decides. It's not what he came here for anyway. "Will you get up now? Or do I really need to drag you to your bed?"

A laugh, then a sigh, Erwin leaning back in his armchair like he's too tired to get up.

"Will you stay with me?"

"Sure."

Not a second passes before the word slips from Levi's lips and he holds out a hand to Erwin. He takes it, but puts no weigh on it when he gets up. He squeezes it shortly though before letting go to stretch. Levi can almost hear Erwin's joints cracking, but in the end it's just in his head.

"Did you eat yet?"

"I'm not completely useless you know." Erwin chuckles again and Levi fights the urge to roll his eyes. They can have breakfast together then, he decides, walking ahead to Erwin's bedroom. Erwin follows without another word, though stops in front of the bathroom instead of the bedroom.

"Let me wash up quickly. I'm sure you want to as well."

He's right of course and though Erwin looks like he's in more need of sleep than a shower, Levi agrees with a nod.

Erwin's bathroom looks exactly like the last time Levi's seen it; lived in. It's clean and warm, but things lie around in a typical Erwin-way. It warms Levi's heart for a moment, but he gets distracted when Erwin turns on the water to splash his face. He exhales and smooths a wet hand over his head, successfully dampening his hair. He looks very handsome like this, but still tired. Yet, Levi does not have it in him to pity the man. If anything, _no_. Levi stops himself. The thought is selfish.

The water stops and Erwin starts undressing, swiftly, like the water scared a bit of his tiredness away. He glances at Levi with something flickering in his eyes when he does nothing but stare and Levi snorts.

He has to admit though, suddenly, he doesn't care much about washing up. Or getting Erwin to sleep for that matter.

With that thought, Levi steps closer, stripping the rest of Erwin's clothes off with his own hands. He smooths them over Erwin's bare skin afterwards, feeling out what's left of the man's day. Oddly enough, the remains of exhaust and sweat don't disgust Levi in the slightest. If anything, he only feels his body ache a little when he thinks about Erwin minding his own business. Without him.

He has to, of course, Levi knows that, but it doesn't ease the feeling, neither the desire to have Erwin close now, to simply _have_ him. It's a very animalistic feeling, a primal instinct Levi never knew he had before he met Erwin.

"Levi," Erwin's voice cuts through the turmoil in Levi's head, his eyes warm and strong when Levi looks at him. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure you're still whole," Levi retorts with a scoff, hands continuing to roam over Erwin's body. He feels out all those dips around Erwin's muscles, remembering all those scars he can no longer feel. Erwin's skin is smooth now, remains of being a soldier washed from his body. But inside, he never changes.

While Levi is busy touching Erwin all over, Erwin curls his right arm around Levi's waist as if to prove that, _yes_ , he's whole again. It makes Levi wonder if he really is.

"Levi we should-"

"No."

Levi interrupts without taking a breath, eyes still locked with Erwin's, holding him. If he didn't want to, Erwin could twist away, but he doesn't. He stays right where he belongs. That does not mean he lost his voice though.

"I'm-"

"Shut up." Levi furrows his brow now, hands coming to rest on Erwin's back with soft pressure. It's smooth and warm, _alive_. And Levi is thankful for that.

"Don't interrupt me," Levi adds, a little softer, but only a little. And Erwin listens. He says no more for a moment, relaxing into Levi's touch, worn out, tired and entirely _his_.

Erwin's arm rises slowly, his hands dragging over Levi's spine with soft, longing pressure, coming to rest at the base of Levi's neck, finally.

"Levi," Erwin says, dipping down when Levi tilts his head up, but their lips never meet, only their eyes.

"I missed you."

Levi practically reels forward, his lips catching Erwin's for a rough, bruising, much needed kiss. Their teeth click, tongues lapping and Levi inhales Erwin's hiss when he bites his lower lip with animalistic desire. He captures him even when Erwin starts panting for breath but pulls away before he's satisfied. Erwin, is a sight to behold. His eyes are wide, glistening, his cheeks a soft pink. His grip around Levi's neck tightened a bit and Levi smirks up at him, huffing quietly.

"It's only been four days," he reminds Erwin and as if he's remembering the same thing as Levi, his eyes drop a little.

"It's never enough," he whispers and Levi knows. He knows it never is. He can spend eternity with Erwin, but it will never be enough.

Instead of voicing that thought, Levi takes a step back, Erwin's unyielding grip on him breaking easily. But Levi doesn't go far, at least, not without Erwin. He grabs the man's wrist and pulls, Erwin following easily, to the bedroom, the thought of washing up far from both their minds.

Erwin is still naked, glorious, his bare feet padding over the wooden floor and if only they had more time Levi would stop to look, to admire, but they don't. They never have. And so Levi only pulls and pushes, Erwin's frame falling against the sheets of his bed soon enough.

A new layer of sweat spreads on Erwin's skin, thin and hot, his bare cock pressing hard against Levi's clothed thigh when he finds his place on top of Erwin. _His._ Only his. _Entirely his_.

There's time after all, to take Erwin in, to watch his gaze fixed on Levi, flickering, beaming with the lust Levi feels pressing against his clothed skin. Time to admire the never ending rise and fall of Erwin's chest, skin smooth and shining, the hint of a flush painting it beautifully. Time to notice the slight tremor in Erwin's limbs when he endures, lies still for Levi when he wants to do so much more.

Slowly, Levi brings a hand down to press it against Erwin's chest, feeling out the skin that's already starting to burn, so hot Levi wonders if it can leave a mark on him. He wants it to. Erwin can no longer carry his marks, but Levi will gladly carry them instead, pridefully. But though he knows that, Levi's finger curl, a claw against Erwin's skin, nails scraping over that beautiful, perfect skin, leaving a red trail in their wake. Erwin hisses, a quiet sound, no objection and Levi watches the red marks.

They fade.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the red disappears, heat radiating from Erwin's skin and then they're gone, replaced by smooth skin like Levi never touched Erwin in the first place. He did, they both know it, but sometimes, Levi wishes everyone would know. A few scratches next to Erwin's scars never seemed to make a difference, but Levi liked them anyway, counting the stripes at night when he couldn't sleep. But things change and now when Levi lies awake at night next to Erwin, he can only count his breath. In and out, the steady rise and fall of his chest, the beats of his heart when they are very close.

"Levi."

Erwin speaks suddenly, moves suddenly, his grip on Levi tight like he needs to anchor himself for a moment. The gesture makes Levi's eyes widen, muscles straining when Erwin's fingers are digging into his thigh and his arm.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, agony in his voice and Levi doesn't want to hear it. There's nothing to be sorry for.

"No," Levi says, returning Erwin's bruising grip, but Erwin doesn't falter.

"I want to be yours again," he says, grip tightening because he knows Levi will do the same. And he does, fingers digging deep into Erwin's skin, leaving rows of deep, red crescent moons that will fade too and Levi knows Erwin dreads it, so he keeps his grip tight.

"You are _mine_." Levi snarls, jaw tight like he needs to claim his territory even here, remind Erwin. But he always has to, because he never finds the right words, never finds the words that can stick with Erwin. The marks did, but they fade and Levi knows Erwin thinks his humanity is fading with them. He's stupid for thinking that, but even a man like Erwin can be scared sometimes.

"I'm not," Erwin whispers, quietly, his voice hardly louder than a breath like he's scared of the words. Maybe, Levi thinks, he is. "Not entirely."

"You always are," Levi insist, leaning forward to hover over Erwin's frame, threatening to try and scare that feeling inside Erwin away. It doesn't work so Levi dips down to sink his teeth into the tight line of Erwin's jaw. He bites down hard, drawing blood and Erwin hisses, his body trembling, jerking, but the warm hands he places on Levi's back show no resistance. He doesn't want to resist.

Erwin's blood is warm on Levi's tongue, the taste thick and sickeningly sweet, lingering after Levi pulled off. His teeth feel sharp when he runs his tongue over his lower lip to lap up what's left of Erwin's blood there, watches Erwin's eyes turn dark. He lies unmoving all the while, only trembling a little when Levi brings a hand down to press a finger against Erwin's wounded skin. It's a deep red, smeared with blood and spit, but Levi runs his finger through the little gash anyway, feeling the heat, the burn. He watches it, watches the proud mark on Erwin's skin, the reminder, until it starts fading. The skin gets so hot Levi has to pull back, but his eyes are glued to the skin when it, ever so slowly, recovers. A tiny swirl of vapour rises from Erwin's skin, leaving nothing from the mark Levi planted behind and if only he could, Levi would catch it. But the thin smoke glides through his fingers like air, fading, like all those marks on Erwin's skin.

"See," Erwin whispers, defeated, drawing his hands back from Levi's skin to smooth a hand over the invisible mark on his jaw. His fingers only linger for a moment, like he doesn't want to think about it. Levi knows he's right.

But he's also so wrong.

Nothing will ever change what they have, nothing will ever erase what they had. The marks might be gone, but the memories linger and if only Levi could tell Erwin. If only he could tell him so he would believe. But he can't, he couldn't, not now, not back then.

"It doesn't matter," Levi replies, voice flat when he leans to the side, slowly reaching out to Erwin's night stand. Something on top clatters when Levi opens the top drawer, despite his carefulness, but Levi pays it no mind, his hand slowly gliding into the small space where Erwin hides a secrets that's no longer private.

A small knife that weighs heavy in Levi's hand, yet he pulls it out without a problem. The knife is sharp, reflecting the scarce light of a setting sun beautifully and Levi runs a hand over the smooth back, avoids cutting himself. This knife is not meant to cut his skin.

It's meant to cut Erwin's.

He bought it, for the sole purpose, though Levi doubts he'll ever know if it was just curiosity at first, or if Erwin carried that thought with him all along. Either way wouldn't surprise Levi. He knows Erwin is fucked up, but he's too. He didn't save Erwin's skin from all those deep gashes after all, only took the blame into his own hand.

Levi remembers clearly, the day he caught Erwin, sitting right here in his bedroom on bloodstained sheets, cutting, watching, not even blinking when the smoke threatened to burn his eyes. Over and over again he slid the blade through the soft skin of his palm and over and over again, it healed.

Levi thought he'd gone mad, crushed by what Levi had allowed him to do to himself, but when Erwin started explaining, Levi understood. He understood in a way he didn't want to, but that didn't stop him from taking the knife from Erwin's shaking hands. It didn't stop him from pressing the blade to Erwin's skin, didn't stop him from pulling through.

It was sickening, how good it made Levi feel to see that red gash on Erwin's skin, the blood running slow and thick. It was sickening how good it felt when he kissed that burning skin, listening to Erwin's hiss of pain that could've been mistaken for a moan. It was sickening how Levi felt the same dread Erwin did when it started to disappear.

Nothing left, like they'd never met.

But Levi didn't mention it. He kissed Erwin's skin again, put the blade away and told him to sleep. Erwin did, but that night, Levi didn't. That night Levi realised, Erwin had taken one step closer to immortality, but it only made him all the more scared. Because in Levi's hands, it meant nothing.

_If anyone can kill him in his Titan-form, it's you Levi._

And Levi knows. He knew when Erwin asked him about the serum, knew when he gave it to him, knew when he watched Erwin's veins pulsing. He knew when he watched Erwin train his powers, standing guard, always on the verge of lashing out to cut that delicate neck; _kill him._

But here, right now, all of this doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is Erwin, and Levi's undying need to have him. He never can like he wants, they both know it, but he can try.

With a swift twist of his hand Levi brings the knife down to Erwin's skin, the blade hovering above Erwin's skin by a hairbreadth. Erwin inhales, exhales, pushing out his chest so the sharp blade can touch his skin. It leaves a little cut, thin and long, but not deep. Erwin doesn't mind, pushing up higher to meet the pain. He's no longer afraid of blades like these. He doesn't seem to be afraid of much with Levi right in front of him.

Naïve.

"Cut me," Erwin whispers when Levi stays unmoving, only watches Erwin's chest heaving against the blade. His voice is trembling, but not with fear. Instead, Erwin's breath is heavy with excitement, desire, arousal and Levi feel the same tightness in his chest. He huffs and presses the knife down with Erwin inhaling, the blade cutting the flesh easily. It parts in a little red gash, blood oozing out and Erwin makes a sounds somewhere between pained and turned on.

"Your name."

Erwin's words are still quiet, private, like he's afraid after all someone beside Levi might hear them.

"I want your name on my skin."

It's far from being an unusual request and Levi withdraws the blade slowly from Erwin's chest to move deeper. He smooths the dull back of the knife along the skin of Erwin's hip, staring intensely. He can almost see the remains of his name there from the last time he carved it into Erwin's skin, but when Levi blinks, it's gone. It will never stay, no matter how many time he cuts it in there, no matter how deep he drives the blade into Erwin's skin. But it doesn't matter.

Levi will do it every day for the rest of his life if that's what Erwin wants.

_He_ wants it.

After a pause that left Erwin's skin some time to start healing the first cut, Levi drives the blade back into it, slowly, carefully carving an _L_ into the smooth skin while listening to Erwin's harsh breathing. He starts panting when Levi's half finished with the _E_ and Levi feels Erwin's cock twitch against his leg. When he's finished, Levi feels his trousers damp where Erwin's hardness is pressing against it, his own cock stiff and aching between his legs.

"There," Levi says, his voice now trembling too when he lifts the knife back into the light of the setting sun. It's glistening red now, Erwin's blood creeping along the sharp blade untouched. For some reason, Levi shudders with the sight.

Before Erwin can say anything more, Levi catches his gaze, forcing both their eyes away from the burning cuts on Erwin's skin. They already know what will become of them and instead of getting lost in watching again, Levi lowers the blade to Erwin's lips. They part ever so slightly, willingly.

"Now lick it clean," Levi orders, pulling back a few inches so Erwin has to sit up slightly to reach. And he does, without a word, obeying silently.

It's a lecherous sight when Erwin's tongue emerges from his parted lips, and the way he's slow about it, only emphasises that. He's not looking at the blade to be careful, he's looking at Levi to lure him in. And it works.

Levi's cock is aching even more now, straining his trousers but he's too occupied with Erwin as to do anything about it. He just watches, that tongue delicately touching the sharp blade, Erwin's dark eyes, how he laps up his own blood like it's a treat.

When Erwin jerks all of a sudden, Levi jerks with him, exhaling a harsh sound born of arousal while Erwin hisses, though he doesn't sound any less aroused than Levi. Taking a careful look Levi notices the remaining blood on the knife is starting to mix with fresh blood from Erwin's tongue, the red juice oozing out slowly.

The knife falls to the ground clattering and Levi's now empty hands shoot to Erwin's head, cupping it roughly when he pulls and bends to press his lips to Erwin's. They meet awkwardly, but Erwin is right there with him, tilting his head so their lips make a perfect match. But Levi is not too focused on their lips, getting his tongue into Erwin's mouth as soon as possible, feeling out the tiny cut that fills their kiss with sweet, thick blood. And it's a treat to Levi too.

It tastes like life and death and everything in between.

But it doesn't stay for very long because no matter how hard Levi probes and nudges, the little cut heals fast. It fills their mouths with heat and vapour and when it threatens to overflow, Levi inhales deeply. He keeps it there for a while, deep in his lungs, hot and swirling, only pulling away when it starts to make him feel dizzy.

Erwin's eyes are hooded when Levi looks at him and the expression makes him smirk when he slowly start to exhale. He keeps his mouth closed at first, smoke flaring through his nostrils into the heated air around. Erwin makes a little sound to the sight, something close to a moan so Levi parts his lips to let the rest of the smoke free, a small cloud of smoke brushing Erwin's face. And it seems to do something to him, because while Erwin was patient most of the time, his hands now close around Levi's hips, squeezing in a silent plea. And Levi welcomes it, his trousers tight and his clothes way too warm.

"Takes your clothes off," Erwin murmurs, voice thick like honey. He runs his tongue over his own lips, makes them shine alluringly with saliva. "I want you."

Erwin's words are very clear and even if he wanted to, Levi couldn't resist now, not any longer, and he guides Erwin's hands to his chest to give him the permission to undress him. Erwin understands quickly, his hands warm and impatient when he starts to take Levi's clothes off. Levi feels just as impatient, can't wait for Erwin to do all the work so he gives him a hand. It still takes a moment, but a few minutes of rustling and shifting later, Levi is as bare as Erwin.

That longing gaze in Erwin's eyes when he looks at him, almost pains Levi.

He can see it there, regret that Erwin shouldn't feel when he catches those marks and scars on Levi's skin. He reaches out to touch them, but Levi presses Erwin's arms down into the mattress before he can. Erwin doesn't object when their lips meet, parts them willingly for Levi's tongue, pushing into the kiss for the sharpness of Levi's teeth, so Levi bites.

It's not enough to draw blood this time, but Erwin still shakes, hips rolling upwards against Levi, his skin nearly burning. He's as hard as before, smearing pre-cum onto Levi's skin that tingles pleasantly and Levi hums into the kiss, teeth digging deeper after all. But he pulls away before the delicate skin of Erwin's lip breaks, taking a good look at Erwin beneath him, showing him just how much he wants him. And the knowledge that he has him, always, prickles on Levi's skin.

Erwin looks even more beautiful than before. His sharp, toned body layered with the sweat of a hard working man that has no reason to deny himself pleasure any longer. The signs are obvious, a dark shimmer in Erwin's eyes, his lips parted. His hair is a mess, tousled, sticking to his forehead with sweat already and Levi reaches out to touch that irresistible flush on Erwin's cheeks. It suits him and Levi hums.

"Sit up," Levi tells Erwin then, removing his weight from the man's body. "Lean against the headboard."

Erwin makes a low sound like he knows what that means, and likes the idea, so Levi can't quite help the little smirk ghosting over his lips when he shuffles closer to the bedside table while Erwin moves.

It's relatively quiet for a moment, Erwin's impatient panting the only thing Levi's ears can focus on and it affects him, making the movements of his hand hurried when he digs around Erwin's drawer for the oil. Levi finds it after all, glancing at Erwin darkly before he climbs onto the man's lap, pressing the flask of oil against Erwin's neck in a little promise. Erwin mostly watches, bus his hands come to greet Levi, curl around his waist to hold him steady when Levi denies both Erwin and himself the pleasure of touching skin. But Erwin knows better than to interfere, enjoying the little torment anyway so Levi takes his time, moves his free hand up over Erwin's skull when he kisses him again.

With new sharpness to his teeth, Levi bites Erwin's lips bloody till he moans, only stopping when Erwin's hands found their way to his ass, squeezing in a silent plea to continue. They feel good there, like they were made to hold Levi like this and Levi moans with the feeling, finally pulling away from Erwin's lips. His blood is warm where it touches Levi's skin, a deep red where it's smeared over Erwin's and Levi's hungry tongue laps before he pushes back into Erwin's hands.

"Spread them for me," Levi rumbles, pulling his hands back from Erwin's shoulders so he can open the little flask of oil. The lid pops with with Erwin's forceful grip on Levi's skin, hot fingers digging into the flesh of his cheeks when Erwin pulls them apart, just like Levi told him to. It feels intense for some reason, the hot air in the room still cold against Levi's sensitive skin and he shudders a bit, his upper body slumping against Erwin's shoulder.

"Don't move," he murmurs against Erwin's neck, teeth scraping when his mouth closes around the delicate flesh, a slick hand reaching back to find the place Erwin is revealing for his touch. Erwin hisses with the demand, grip tightening like it's hard for him to do no more than that, but Levi knew that and it feels good to push Erwin like this. He knows the man well enough to know how far he can go after all and he knows Erwin to be determined enough to obey. And so he does.

It feels like a slow process, no matter how fast Levi is trying to get this over with. Two of his own fingers just don't feel like enough, not when he knows the touch of Erwin's, the width of them and not even three of Levi's seem to make much of a difference. But it's enough for Levi to sink down on Erwin's cock without a problem, so he finally stops, moaning around Erwin's skin when he pulls his fingers back, teeth digging deeper. Erwin returns the touch with a hard squeeze on Levi's ass, the cheeks perfectly round in his unyielding grip, aching in the best way.

Now, with his fingers gone, Levi feels the difference, his body begging for more and he pulls his lips away from Erwin's bruising skin to moan. He feels out the shudder it inflicts on Erwin, feels out the tremor in his hands, the harsh movements of his chest.

"Levi."

Erwin is begging already, his voice shaking and when Levi straightens up and looks at him, he's gorgeous. Sweat is running over his temples in tiny pearls, his eyes only half open, yet Levi feels the intensity of his gaze as if they were about to pop out of their sockets.

"Please," Erwin adds, still obedient to Levi's words from before, not moving an inch, his grip as tight as it goes. Levi could watch him like this for hours, longer, but all the playing is taking a toll on his body too. He's shaking with arousal now, twitching where he wants Erwin buried deep, hot and sweaty and still gorgeous in Erwin's eyes.

"Keep your hands where they are," Levi says with the last bit of cruelty he can muster, though he hardly spoke the words when he starts moving. Unsurprisingly Erwin follows immediately, like his hands are glued to Levi's skin, still squeezing when Levi aligns his hips with Erwin's. He can feel the heat radiating from Erwin's cock and when he brings one hand down to touch it, it nearly burns. But it's a good feeling, promising when Levi holds Erwin's cock, lowering his hips slowly.

Erwin hisses with the first contact they make, the tip of his cock pressing into the crevice of Levi's ass, hot and wet and so ready Levi has to moan. A similar sound follows from Erwin's, his grip on Levi's flesh even tighter though Levi thought it impossible. But it only increases when the tip of Erwin's cock finds Levi's twitching muscle, pushing past with sweet resistance and then, finally, Erwin's head falls back. He moans like he's in sweetest agony, his hips twitching when he wants to thrust upwards, only denies himself. But with the burning thickness of Erwin's cock, Levi sees no reason to wait any longer.

"Hands off," he snaps and Erwin's hands are gone within a second. Levi doesn't have it in him to give the man another second to adjust though, nor himself, burying Erwin deep inside him with one, smooth movement. Underneath him, Erwin nearly trashes with the sudden movement, a sharp shiver shaking his body, helpless hands finding Levi's skin because he knows he will always find what he needs there. The sound Erwin makes is unusually high, eyes wide when his head snaps forward in surprise and Levi loves every second of it. He loves how Erwin's eyes can't seem to focus, loves how tight his grip is, loves the little curse that falls from Erwin's lips.

He also loves that tingling in his limbs with Erwin so deep inside, thick and hot and marvellous and that feeling is enough for Levi to be ready to hoist himself up, only to slam down against Erwin's hips again. Erwin's reaction is similar to the one before, only his head falls back again, exposing his throat where his Adam's apple jerks with a guttural moan.

" _Oh yes_ ," he groans in addition and Levi dives to sink his teeth into Erwin's flesh, sharp and unyielding, ready to tear when his hips rise only to snap down once more. Erwin jerks with it, pain in his next moan, but his hips start moving now, desperate when Levi doesn't stop moving on top of him. He can taste blood in his mouth and it only spurs him on, a lecherous sound echoing from their bodies when skin slaps against skin. He can even hear the faint, wet sound of tearing flesh when his teeth dig so deep, an animal ready to shred his prey.

Erwin's hands find anchor on Levi's shoulder, holding on tight when he can barely move under Levi, can barely do more than take what he's given. But he takes it with everything he has, the noises he makes soon deep and hoarse with pain and ecstasy. His skin gets so hot Levi can barely touch it, but he can't bring himself to pull away, adorning Erwin's skin with a necklace of torn flesh where his teeth dig deep, covering his shoulders with a cloak of bleeding scratches where his nails find anchor. And Erwin allows it, craves it with every shuddering breath he takes, every moan so full of pain and heat. So Levi gives it to him, knowing he's the only man who will ever be able to.

Levi doesn't slow down, his body high on every drop of Erwin's thick blood running down his throat, every whiff of hot vapour that penetrates his lunges. It drives him closer and closer to the edge agonizingly fast and his nails paint a red trail on Erwin's chest to let him know when he still can't bring himself to use his mouth to speak. But Erwin is faster than he is, a yelp of pain and orgasmic bliss accompanying Levi's name and it's the only warning he gets before Erwin loses it. His body stiffens, hips snapping and trembling, grip nearly crushing when he comes. Levi can feel it in his own body, the intensity of it, can taste it in Erwin's blood when his tongue laps over the trail he left around Erwin's neck. But he keeps moving, even when Erwin slows, keeps moving when Erwin's moans of pleasure turn into breathless whimpers. But listening to him, feeling him like this, doesn't make Levi able to make it past Erwin's post-orgasmic bliss. He collapses against Erwin's slumping body, shuddering, trembling, his voice a mess when he calls Erwin's name, staining their skin with warm cum when he comes too.

They both need a long moment to recover, silence lingering sweetly between them. The only sound Levi's ears pick up the quiet sizzling of Erwin's healing wounds, the blood left on Levi's lips dissolving into smoke, slipping through his fingers where he placed all those marks on Erwin's skin. It's warm now, comforting, _alive_.

Their breaths slow, the heat subsides and Erwin's arms close around Levi softly when he plants a kiss on the crown of his head. His lips linger and Levi feels out Erwin's beating heart underneath all that flesh of Erwin's chest. It's peaceful and Levi smiles.

"You'll always be mine," he tells Erwin, shifting subtle for a more comfortable position in Erwin's arms even though he feels he should be the one holding Erwin.

"Everything you do, everything you are."

"I know," Erwin assures and Levi knows he does.

They both know it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I already posted this on [tumblr.](http://pinkjasmink.tumblr.com/post/138871400843/life-and-death-and-everything-in-between)  
> No, I did not edit it.  
> Why? I don't know. I don't have time and I feel as if it's a lost cause now anyway. It's done for me haha  
> Okay so, you can still thank [Aileine](http://aileine.tumblr.com/) for this one. I have to in fact. I got literally bitten by the idea honestly. We talked about it and I just loved it so much omg. I have so much filth in my head it's unbelievable. And I really, really, really enjoyed writing this. As Aileine said so perfectly, it's dark in a way, but holds so much light inside.  
> I guess this is what I was trying to aim at with this because to me Erwin and Levi are a particularly heartbreaking pair in general. But that doesn't mean they aren't beautiful together. Their world is a cruel place but they know how to live in it and maybe, together, it's even a little easier.  
> ANYWAY, this is getting far too deep to be in the notes haha. All I'm saying is the sick little pervert in me enjoyed writing this a lot and I somehow spontaneously decided to upload it to Ao3 as well. Why the hell not. I haven't posted in forever, which I'm incredibly sorry for, but, you know, life sucks. Shit happened and I'm having a hard time dealing with all the stuff that's thrown at me and life is just particularly scary for me right now and unfortunately I'm so stressed and have no time to ease my mind with writing much.  
> So all this said, uhmn, a very late happy new year to ya'll. I hope your year started better than mine.  
> I also hope I might have reached some fellow perverts that enjoyed this.  
> If you did, thanks for reading! :3
> 
> So, again, if anyone cares, here's the story on [tumblr.](http://pinkjasmink.tumblr.com/post/138871400843/life-and-death-and-everything-in-between)  
> Feel free to say hi if you want :)


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